


The Oblivious Christmas

by Sakuraiai



Category: Voltron - Fandom, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Confusion, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Human Experimentation, Kidnapping, Living Together, M/M, Married Couple, Medical Experimentation, Memory Loss, Mutual Pining, Past Torture, Snow, Stranded, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-02-02 14:34:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12728448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sakuraiai/pseuds/Sakuraiai
Summary: Amnesia (n)1. Loss of a large block of interrelated memories.2. Complete or partial loss of memory caused by brain injury or shock, etc.Christmas was here and Keith had a problem.A gorgeous, caramel skinned, snarky, absolutely gorgeous, funny, pretty, confusing -- and did he mention gorgeous -- problem.The last thing he remembered was being stuck in his home, on the snowiest Christmas ever, with one Lance McClain, aptly known as the gorgeous one.Too bad he had a stupid problem with his memory. If he did, he'd remember why he had woken up five years later, next to the gorgeous Lance who was calling him his husband!Why can't he remember what happened?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Confusion...
> 
> Warning:  
> Massive time jump, and oodles of confusion for the first chapter.  
> Let's see if anyone can figure out what is happening.

White flakes of thickly falling snow fell onto the busy streets in front of the large glassed shopping mall. The building was decorated with all the splendours of Christmas. Tinsel lined pretty much everything, twining and twirling as it rustled with the wind, sparkling with multi-coloured lights and pretty baubles. There was a massive pine tree decorated beautifully in the middle of the large main hall of the shopping centre. The echoing immensity of the sounds of people chatting, families watching the beautiful lights as they finished off their last minute Christmas shopping, babies crying in the distance and people bustling back and forth.

Keith stood at the edge of a large podium, smiling as he passed the long line of children and parents leading to Santa’s Grotto, the event he was in charge of. His once pristine dark suit was wrinkled from the days wear. He let out a tired breath, looking up to the snow falling and the twinkling lights on the glass ceiling metres above him.

“I can’t do this anymore,”

His smile soon turned into a frown.

Turning around, Keith saw a handsome blonde man in a large Santa Claus suit walking down the gorgeously decorated Santa’s Grotto set. Keith’s gaze widened as he witnessed the line of eager children watching ‘Santa’ step up out of the seat and down the red carpeted steps.

“Ah, Santa is taking a break,” He said quickly to the confused audience, trying to pry ‘Santa’ back to the large plush chair. “He’ll be right back,”

He motioned for the fellow elf workers to put up a sign with the words ‘back in five minutes’ on the cushioned Santa inspired chair.

Keith followed the blonde man, watching him pull the red hat from his head.

“Please Kellan,” He whispered harshly, dragging him to the side, away from the children. “It’s just a little while longer, what will I tell the children who have waited so long?”

Kellan shook his head at Keith pleadingly. He wrenched his arm from Keith’s grip. “Don’t give me that, I did not sign up for all of this.”

“I’ll double your pay,” Keith announced, dragging Kellan further from the listening children. Kellan shook his head and started walking away. “Triple! And you can eat all the sweets you want!”

“I don’t care,” He said, throwing the red Santa hat at Keith. “I’m leaving.”

“No, please Kellan!” Keith called out to his retreating form. Kellan didn’t bother a reply, and instead just quickened his pace from the set. Keith rolled his eyes. “At least give back the suit!”

Kellan shrugged off the red coat and threw it over to Keith. He took hold of the clothing and growled in aggravation. Keith slumped onto the bench, peering at the children and parents eagerly watching him. He held his head in his hands and let out a long sigh.

What was he going to do now?

“I couldn’t help but overhear,” Keith raised his head and looked to the man who sat next to him. He was an older, orange haired man in a maroon suit, a thick moustache under his nose and his clear blue eyes, hidden behind gold wire glasses, glittered in the twinkling lights.

_Was he there before?_

“I’m sorry about the noise,” Keith muttered, shaking his head.

Was Keith’s memory problem playing with him again?

“Actually,” The moustached man stated, gazing at the children. He gently reached for the hat and coat in Keith’s grasp and placed it on his lap. “I’d like to help,”

 

~~

 

The snow had finally stopped falling, the sky was dark and cold and Keith shivered slightly. He took hold of the tinsel gold rope and looped it onto the pole, officially closing Santa’s Grotto. He let out a sigh of relief, glad that the day was finally over. Checking that everything was in order, he waved goodbye to his friends and fellow workers and spied the man that had pretty much saved his life.

The man was still sitting on Santa’s seat, slowly taking off the hat. Keith moved over to him and smiled brightly.

“Thank you so much Coran, I don’t know how I can repay you,” Keith said, watching as Coran took his glasses off and cleaned them on the red coat.

“The children’s smiles are enough,” Coran stated, perching his glasses back on his nose. Keith shook his head, reaching into his breast pocket and pulling out an envelope with a cheque. “Please, I can’t take that,”

“Please, I insist that you take it for your troubles.” Keith said earnestly, placing the envelope in Coran’s hands. “I wish others were as kind as you,”

Coran’s gaze narrowed on Keith, but he nodded, taking the envelope. He took off the red Santa jacket and handed it to the man. Keith took hold of it and placed it onto the chair, sighing at the many couples walking back and forth.

Christmas was the time for lovers after all, and with the beautiful glass roof, the twinkling stars mixed with the glittering lights created a romantic ambience.

“What’s the matter child?” Coran asked Keith, bringing him back from his thoughts.

“Nothing,” Keith sighed, looking down to his hands.

“Come now,” Coran urged him, patting on the seat next to him. “Tell Santa what you want for Christmas,”

Keith nodded, looking up at an old happy couples walking past and gazing lovingly at one another as the woman straightened the man’s scarf. What he wouldn’t give for something like that. But no one would go near him, when they knew that come morning he would forget all about them.

“I know it’s rather childish, but…I want love,” Keith muttered, he had been alone for so long that he had forgotten what it was like to be loved by someone. When he was old enough, his parents had carted him off to boarding school, hoping that it would help with his problem.

“I want someone who I can grow old with, someone who loves me like I love him,” He sighed, gazing at another happy couple walking past, their arms tightly wound around one another as they pointed at Christmas decorations. “But who am I kidding? No man would ever like me, let alone love.”

“Why is that?”

“I have this condition,” Keith rolled his eyes at his own misfortune. “Selective short term memory loss,” He saw Coran’s confused expression and thought to elaborate more. “I forget things, but I usually remember after hearing a name, or seeing something I recognise.”

“Well you never know,” Coran said positively, patting Keith’s hand. He pocketed the envelope and stood up. Turning to give Keith one last smile, he added; “It is the most magical time of the year after all,”

Keith watched Coran leave, his heart feeling a little lighter.

_Well, he wasn’t wrong…_

 

~~

 

Keith took in a deep sigh of relief as he sat on his comfortable overstuffed sofa, hot chocolate in hand and a funny Christmas movie on television. This was what Christmas was about for him. Ever since he had moved away from his family and was stuck alone in this country, he had spent the last five Christmases on his own, in his small house, watching cheesy romantic Christmas movies on TV while drinking hot chocolate. It was all he could remember when he thought about the festive holiday.

He was glad that his life was at such a point where he didn’t have to worry too much about living expenses, he sighed in bliss at the pure chocolate in his drink. Yes, it was a nice thing indeed.

His happy equilibrium was interrupted by the doorbell. Sighing, he placed his cup on the low coffee table and wrapped a blanket around his shoulders, moving to the door. Opening the door, his heart skipped a beat.

The swirls of the blizzard outside cascaded around the man, creating a halo around his gorgeous sun kissed face, but he stood tall and defiant in front of Keith, looking as if he had just stepped out of the front pages of GQ.

He looked so very familiar… _but from where?_

Keith lifted his gaze up from the man’s black leather ankle high boots, which were soaked from the snowy slush. His black trousers were crisply seamed, but also drawing up the wet. A large trench coat took over his large frame, covering his wide shoulders and a long scarf covered a slender looking neck. His hair was short and styled and dark over a gorgeous, wonderful, dreamy, drool-worthy face. Clear blue eyes, pouting bow shaped lips that looked like they were made for kissing.

Keith turned red and shook his head, grimacing at his own thoughts.

Where had he seen this man from? He cursed at his memory problem. Such a gorgeous man and he couldn’t remember him.

“Hey Keith, can I come in,” His voice was deep, and it reminded Keith of a thunderstorm in a warm afternoon. He loved it.

“Who are you?”

"Oh, right," The man cleared his throat, noting that Keith hadn’t invited him in; he was stuck in the blizzard. “Lance McClain, I’m Allura’s brother?”

Keith blinked, remembering the woman. Allura Altea was his mother’s best friend. She was a tall, beautiful, white haired woman who used to sneak Keith sweets when his mother wasn’t looking.

He didn’t remember Allura having a brother though. “What?”

Lance sucked in a breath, rubbing his arms. “Allura didn’t tell you, did she?”

“Wait there,” Keith shuffled to his phone, noting his answering machine flicker with a red light. He had a message.

“Hey Keith, it’s Shiro again,” The voice paused, knowing that Keith would take a moment to remember him. Shiro, his brother, though not by blood. Shiro’s parents had adopted Keith, and that made Shiro his _adopted_ brother – if that was what you called it, not that he could remember. Shiro was a lovely, loyal and strong brother, and he was always eager to keep Keith safe and content. “Allura’s brother Lance was visiting us, but his plane was grounded due to snow, so I gave him your address. He’s going to stay with you for a while. He’s cute, and a keeper. Be nice and have fun.”

Keith’s thoughts suddenly returned to Shiro and his usual matchmaking schemes. Keith quickly picked up the phone and ran through his large black address book. Finding Shiro’s details, he punched the numbers in and held the phone to his ear.

“Hey babe,” He heard the man, _Lance_ , say from the front door. Oh no! Keith had left him there in the freezing cold! “Can I come in?”

Wait...babe? Why was this man calling him  _babe?_

It wasn't like Keith knew him...was it?

Keith peered back and nodded, watching as Lance walked into the room, pushing the door closed behind him. The sudden heat of the room made him smile. He slipped off his trench coat, showing a dark blue v-neck sweater stretched over his broad chest. Keith sucked in an appreciative breath,  _wow._

He watched as Lance pulled open the airing cupboard next to the entrance and hung the wet coat on the rack. It was as if he knew exactly what to do. Wasn't this his first time in Keith's house?

Keith watched him, as he closed the door behind him, locking it and placing the key in the bowl by the door. Wondering what the hell was happening, but he was interrupted by his thoughts when he heard Shiro’s familiar voice.

Not letting the man speak, he yelled into the phone. “Shiro, what the hell?”

“Be nice,” Shiro said, knowing exactly who it was. “Come on Keith, I thought you'd be happy?”

Keith peered at the man at the door once again, holding the phone closer to his mouth. “What do you mean I'd be happy? What if he’s a psycho?”

“I’m not a psycho,” Lance stated, shrugging off his scarf and peeling off his gloves.

"Be nice to him," Shiro said, his voice stern, just like Keith remembered it to be. There was definitely something Shiro was keeping from him, yet Keith could not remember what. Neither could he understand. "You'll thank me when you remember,"

_What did he mean by that?_

“Stay away from me,” Keith stated, saying a quick goodbye to Shiro, he put the phone down and stepped back. “Just because your story checks out, doesn’t mean I’m going to let my guard down.”

Lance shrugged his shoulders and noticed the movie. Sitting on the sofa, he leaned back into the comforters and smiled at the familiar movie on the television. “You’re watching _Christmas Do-Over_? Now that’s a funny movie,”

Keith narrowed his gaze. He sidled slowly to the sofa, reaching for his mug of hot chocolate. His gaze didn’t leave Lance. “J-just stay over there.”

Lance nodded, settling onto the sofa, trying to get warm after the flurry blizzard he had been forced to. Keith watched as he rubbed his hands together, probably to ward off the chill and narrowed his gaze. He reached back for the blanket draped over the sofa and handed it to him.

“No funny business,” He said, holding the blanket out to the sun kissed man. God, there was something about this Lance character that he just couldn’t place.  _Curse his memories!_

“Thanks, Keithy,” Lance took the blanket, with a smile that melted Keith’s heart, and wrapped it around his warming body.

There was definitely something about him.

_Something familiar…_

 

~~

 

It was warm. The kind  of all over warmth you got when you dipped your body into a nice, hot bath, or when you drank a steaming mug of hot chocolate, or sat in front of a roaring fire. It was calming, heating him up from the very centre of him all the way to the tips of his fingers and toes.

There was a fresh, cool breeze that washed over his exposed skin, it made him smile. The window must have been open. There was a distinct sound of a car rushing past in the distance, and birds chirping as they flew by.

But it was still so _very_ warm.

That in itself was odd. From what he could remember of himself, Keith was never warm. He always had cold fingers and toes. He'd shiver whenever a breeze brushed past him.

It was also too comfortable, sure waking up in the middle of the night in your own bed, knowing you didn't have to get up any time soon was a comforting thought. It was something he loved. But it was short lived, especially when he would suddenly remember something he had forgotten to do the night before – like turning the hot water off, or putting that dirty plate in the sink to soak.

The covers around him felt exquisitely soft. But his alarm hadn’t gone off. In fact, he reached his hand up to the spot by his pillow and felt nothing but the cool sheets, yup, his phone was not in its usual place.

Had he moved it? He couldn’t remember, but he instead thought maybe, just maybe he had gotten up a few minutes before his alarm than intended. So he waited, still, warm and comfortable. Waiting for the inevitable vibrations of his phone, wherever it was, and then he’d get up.

He waited…

…and waited…

…and waited…

How early had he woken up? 

Wait...when had he gotten into bed? He didn't remember anything that happened yesterday, something about a blizzard, Aunt Shiro had told his something. Groggily, he pulled his eyes open, unable to see anything other than the dewy darkness of his room. The sunlight trying its hardest to peek through the blackout curtains on his window. He reached forward and stretched to try and find his glasses on the bedside table.

His hands were stuck, he couldn’t move them. There was a heavy weight on them.

What happened?

He was in a bed, he noted. Yes, this was his own bed. The sense of unfamiliarity and dread dissipated. He was at home. He could tell without needing to open his eyes. The light coming from the window was not all that bright, more dewy behind his closed eyes. His covers were laid over his entire body, a comforting and familiar weight. 

He turned to his side, taking in a deep breath of the heat under his covers. His nose twitched at the unfamiliar scent of...something, he wasn't sure what it was, but it wasn't all that bad a scent.

It was....nice. _Very_ nice.

He shuffled under his covers. Though he was warm, he was still in his usual morning routine. He'd wake up a few minutes before his alarm was to go off, he'd stretch out his fingers and toes, trying to warm them up a bit more, before throwing the covers back over his face and sleeping for another few moments before his intrepid alarm started to beep incessantly.

But…something was different today.

He stretched his toes, a low, pleasant moan escaping his lips at the feeling, but his fingers, they weren't moving. Well, they were, but he felt like he was being restrained by that warm something.

Opening his eyes once again, slowly, squinting against the dull light that clouded around him through his duvet, he noted something that didn't look, or feel at all like his body pillow.

It was a body.

_Oh god..._

He knew that body...his fingers itched at the memory of that body under his fingers, of his hands clenching against his skin, nails digging into his flesh, teeth gnawing at the juncture of his neck. Feeling full, and sated, aching aand _wonderful._

_Lance..._ _Lance!_

Lance's pretty eyes opened, full of sleep. He let out a cute yawn and smiled. "Hey babe,"

Keith suddenly sat up, pushing the covers from his body – it was then that he noticed he wasn’t wearing any clothes. He gasped, reaching for the blankets piled over them and wrapped them around his body. Since when did he sleep in the nude with a stranger he met yesterday!

His gaze met the mirror and he let out a quick gasp. He was _older_ …his hair was a little longer, his body filled out a bit more, and his skin was a little more sun kissed than it had been before.

_What?_ Had…had he finally lost it? Had his memory been gone for so long that he forgot _years?_

“What’s wrong, _carino_?”

Lance's voice – deep and wickedly sexy – sent delightful shivers down Keith’s spine. As if noticing his worry, Lance got up quickly and made his way over to Keith, reaching out and smoothing his fingers over Keith’s bare stomach, the corded muscles of his arm getting goose bumps from the cool air.

Keith swivelled around to face him and gasped.

Any other time, he would have taken the time to admire the way the fabric of Lance’s dark t-shirt stretched across an impossibly wide chest and clearly delineated a mountainous amount of muscle, the way his well-worn boxers clung snugly to his groin and thickly muscled thighs.

Oh, who was Keith kidding, even in the midst of a calamity, he couldn’t help but notice how hot the man was with his tanned skin and ruffled dark hair. Keith pushed the alluring man from his body and walked backwards to the doorway, wanting to escape in case Lance thought to do something else.

“W-what happened?”

“Keith?” The gorgeous Lance followed after him, eyebrow tilted. Brilliant white teeth gleamed as he grinned, and a deep dimple formed in his left cheek that sent Keith’s awakening libido into full sexual crush mode. His racy thoughts made him blush even deeper, and he thanked God that Lance couldn’t read his mind even if his body seemed unable to stop betraying him.

“Are you okay?” Lance’s deep voice rumbled pleasantly, and Keith fought an urge to shiver—and to throw himself at the man, begging Lance to whisper naughty things with his sexy voice. Keith didn’t understand his body’s out-of-proportion reaction to this man. Sure, Lance was hotter than molten lava, but since when did his hormones drool and scream at him to maul a stranger on sight?

He ignored how his body tingled and vibrated and got straight to the point. “Look, I haven’t got any money, or jewellery,” He held her hands up to show Lance, but saw a gorgeous ring on his left ring finger. “Okay, maybe I do, but please—”

Lance cocked an eyebrow at Keith, and one corner of his mouth turned up in a lopsided grin. “Are you still dreaming, baby?”

_Did he just call me baby?_ Keith narrowed his gaze, he never did like that term of endearment, but coming from Lance. It sounded…nice. He shivered.

Dreaming. That’s it. He must be dreaming. But why did everything feel so real?

“ _Carino_ , are you alright?” Lance looked so worried. He took a step forward and Keith reached for the thick hair brush on the large dressing table next to him, and held it out like a weapon.

“S-Stay back,” Keith yelled, prodding the hairbrush at Lance.

The gorgeous man stopped, hands held up in confused defence. “Keith, this isn’t funny anymore,”

Keith held the impromptu weapon in his shaky grip. “Who are you?”

“I’m your husband,”

Keith sucked in a breath, the hairbrush dropping from his fingers and crashing to the floor with a loud thud. _Wh…what?_

“Sweetie, please, you’re starting to scare me.” Lance held a hand out to him, hoping he would reach for it.

“ _I’m_ scaring _you_?” Keith muttered. What twilight world had he fallen into?  How much of his memory had he lost? This had to be some kind of joke, a prank his friends had played on him.

Yes that must be it. Shiro must have slipped something in his drink, brought him home, put him to bed and paid this handsome escort – what else could this gorgeous hunk be? – to pretend to be his husband.

Yeah right. There were so many flaws to that plan. But what else could it be?

“I’m definitely dreaming.” Keith murmured. Lance’s sudden grip on his bare arms woke him from his thought, electricity fissured down his spine at Lance’s heated touch.

“Sweetie, is this about last night?” Lance’s voice was laced with guilt.

Keith looked up into his wide, dark eyes. Damn, Lance had the puppy-dog eyes down to an art form.

“L-last night?” He didn’t want to understand what was happening any more, as long as Lance kept looking at him with those deep dark eyes. He felt like he was drowning, and he was happy to go deeper and deeper into the abyss.

“I should have been more adamant, we shouldn’t have done it.” His gaze faltered down to Keith’s neck and Keith let out a gasp as Lance’s lips trembled. Lance chewed at his lip and Keith felt his knees turn weak.

_What…?_ He didn’t understand what was happening to him. He shouldn’t be this turned on by a man just biting his lip. But what lips they were!

“Did I hurt you?”

Keith let out an ungraceful ‘huh’ and tilted his head to one side. Hurt him? How? What had he done? How did Keith even get here? Naked? In bed with the gorgeous Lance McClain?

And why was it that Keith couldn't remember anything else, but he could remember who Lance was? He could remember his name, when he usually forgot everything, and every one. But this man, this gorgeous, sun kissed man. What was it about him?

“Oh god,” Lance’s eyes suddenly widened and his mouth made a wide ‘o’. “You’ve forgotten again, haven’t you?”

What? _He knew?_ And what did he mean by _again?_

“Oh baby, I'm sorry. How far back?” Lance asked, reaching for him. He held onto Keith’s shoulders, looking deep into his eyes. Worry etched on his features, yet he seemed like he was used to this happening. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

Keith was worried now, this couldn’t be real. Lance knew about his memory loss? Keith was here, naked, in a room he clearly shared with the man – what with the filled cupboards, the creams on the dressing table, and the clothes strewn on the chair. And Lance knew about his memory loss?

How had Keith forgotten…so much.

“Christmas…when you were stranded…” Keith started, trying to remember a time that _felt_ like yesterday. He had been sitting on the sofa, looking at the man who had pretty much barged into his home, uninvited. How had he gotten from that, to  _this?_

“The storm?” Lance’s eyes widened. “Babe, that was five years ago,”

Five years…

He had forgotten _five years?_

Lance tugged on his arms and pulled him into his body, Keith fell into him quite easily, curling into the warmth that felt so familiar, but he couldn't remember. It was like trying to recall a dream, there were snippets here and there, but he just could not remember it entirely. The more he focused on it, the more it went away.

"Don't worry baby," Lance murmured into his hair, his grip tight around Keith's body. "I know just how to help you,"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more confusion...

Dr Slav was every bit a beetle like man. He was strange, for one thing, and had large beady eyes that were only emphasised and magnetised by his equally as large glasses. He spoke in a thick Indian accent, and spoke in words and phrases that Keith found hard to fully grasp, or understand all together. 

But there wasn't much he didn't understand about any of this. After he had calmed down from his panic attack, Lance had taken him downstairs and shown him the rest of the house, well the kitchen, where he had gotten Keith a glass of water, and the living room. 

It was true when they said the living room was the main hub of the house, it was truly lived in. Keith knew he was definitely in his house, however there were so many things here and there that weren't his usual taste. But they were fascinating enough, and had a Cuban, and in some cases, Spanish-esque feel to them. Not that Keith minded, the dark, earthy coloured blanket Lance had draped over his lap while they sat opposite Dr. Slav, was soft and warm, and Keith understood why it was where it was. 

It smelled like them both, which only meant they had shared this blanket many times before hand. 

The pictures on the walls, and the tables were lovely to look at, though they freaked Keith out. He knew that was him and Lance, and in some pictures Shiro, Aunt Allura -- who looked as if she was married to, or at least dating, Shiro now, with the way she was holding onto his arm in a few images, and pecking his cheek with her lips in others. There were a few other people in the pictures too, a short female, and a large man with a yellow bandana wrapped around his forehead. 

Everyone looked so happy.  _He_ looked so happy. 

In many of the pictures he and Lance were embracing, arms over shoulders, foreheads pressed together, just being cute and so in love. The look on his eyes, Keith had seen, he looked so in love with Lance, and Lance looked the same. 

There was one thing he remembered when he saw those pictures, there was one in front of an amusement park, a large Ferris wheel in the background, all in different coloured lights, looking pretty in the setting sun. He had his arms wrapped around Lance's middle, while Lance had his arms wrapped around Keith's body, pulling him close, resting his cheek on Keith's hair. They were both looking at the camera, smiling and making 'v' signs. It was a selfie, taking from a phone. 

He couldn't place the memory, but he remembered Lance and the Ferris wheel, the beauty of a sun setting in the horizon as he was suspended in the air. There was a sweet taste on his tongue, and the feeling of cold air brushing passed him, of heat on his neck -- Lance's mouth? -- and that same heat on his lips. A kiss? 

How was that even possible? How had he forgotten something so important in his life? 

Why was Lance still here after knowing about his problem? He had seemed so anxious, yet so calm when he found out Keith had forgotten, as if Keith did this usually, as if he was used to this feeling. 

 _Why was he still here?_  

His heart was beating madly in his chest, and he knew he was about to go into another panic attack. But Lance, as if knowing, or expecting, he wasn't sure, reached for his hand, running soothing circles over the back of his hand, in the space between his thumb and index finger. That was his anxiety stim, something he did whenever he had moments like this. When he felt lost, confused and didn't understand what was happening around him, due to his memory loss. 

Lance knew, and he was calming Keith down. 

Keith just wished he could remember him, that he could remember the past five years -- because they sounded so amazing. 

Dr. Slav had placed those odd sticker things on his wrists and chest, the circular ones that checked his heart beat -- not that he could remember their names -- and nodded at the machinery in front of him. He took a stethoscope and placed it on Keith's chest, letting out another 'ah-huh', as he listened to Keith's heart beating. 

Lance's grip on his hand was the only solace he had from this oddness. He  _felt_ absolutely fine. It was his head that was the problem. 

"I don't see any reason for you to lose so much time," Dr. Slav replied. He turned to Lance, "and he remembers you?" 

"My name...and who I am," Lance replied, turning to Keith, hoping there was something else that may have sparked in the interim. 

Keith looked down, unable to take the serious yearning in those gorgeous eyes. He wished he remembered, but he knew it wouldn't be a quick thing. His memory relapsing, that was normal, quick and simple. But getting those memories back, that took time. 

"I remember..." Keith tried, trying to remember the amusement park once again. His gaze ran to the photo frame on the mantle, the sweet taste of candy floss -- or cider, he wasn't sure -- filled his tongue once again, and he had a moment of recollection. 

 _"Come on, Lance, please come with me on the Ferris wheel, I'll make it worth your while?"_  

"I remember our amusement park date," He replied, wanting to reach out to the photo frame and take another look, in case he remembered more, but he really couldn't move with all the wires and things. 

Lance's eyes widened, and his grip tightened. "You do?" 

Keith nodded, turning a faint shade of pink. "Did I make it worth your while?" 

A pretty burst of red erupted over Lance's entire face, he stilled, but he nodded mechanically. "Yup, that you did," 

Keith didn't really know  _what_ it was he had done to make Lance look like that in memory of that night, but he was glad he was at least remembering something. 

"I suggest taking him through an average day," Dr. Slav suddenly said, bringing them back to the present. "It might spark his memory," 

Lance nodded. 

"I suggest calling Shiro, as well." Dr Slav added, systematically taking off the stickers on Keith's chest and arms. "If his memory has gone back five years, I expect a 57.8% chance of a clear memory recall with him here," 

"Thanks, doctor," Lance said, watching as the doctor put all his things in his bag and got up. 

They followed him to the front door, and Dr. Slav turned around, holding his hand out to Keith. 

"It was good to see you again," he stated, shaking Keith's hand, hoping it would bring back a memory. 

But unfortunately, nothing came to mind. His heart fell at that. Obviously, this man knew him, enough to make a house call to help him out. "I can't say the same," 

But Slav didn't seem worried, not at all. He left with a smile, and a nod of his head. 

"Alright," Lance suddenly said, closing the door behind them. "Why don't you stay here, and I'll make the breakfast?" 

A familiar memory rushed through Keith then, of him reprimanding the Cuban man in front of him;  _"Lance, seriously, babe, you can't cook, you burn water!"_  

He'd then hold onto his arms and pulling him out of the kitchen, taking him to the living room and sitting him down on the comfortable sofas, before dropping a kiss to his lips and returning to the kitchen.  

Lance's eyes widened, "You...?" 

Keith's eyes widened and he looked down to where Lance was sitting, on the sofa, Keith hovering over him, as if he had just about to kiss Lance. 

Keith stepped back, unsure what had just happened. This wasn't usually how he remembered things. "I... I don't..." 

But Lance just shook his head. "You're remembering, that's all," 


	3. Chapter 3

_“Keeeeeith~”_

Keith gracefully sat up on his bed, the silk covers falling over his body to pool at his lap. Wait, silk? He couldn’t afford silk. Where the hell was he? Looking around he saw he was in his room. It was dark, but his room was illuminated by the numerous amounts of candles surrounding every empty flat space.

_“Where are you, Keith?”_

What the hell was happening? He thought to himself as he got out of bed. Then he noticed his attire. Looking down, his eyes widened. He was clad in nothing but the silkiest, tightest briefs that fit snuggly over him. But god, they felt so comfortable, and so good against his skin. He had to be dreaming. He’d never be caught wearing something so—

Shaking his head, he reached for the sheets and covered himself. This was a memory, or a dream, or something. If that was the case, then…the last thing he remembered was Lance… _his husband_ …making him lunch and telling him to rest. Shiro was going to come later, and Lance wanted Keith to be well rested and ready.

He was such a wonderful husband, and Keith hated that he pretty much forgot everything about the wonderful man.

He heard a low growl coming from the bathroom. There was someone in there. The door swung open, and the object of Keith’s frenzied thoughts stepped out. Lance didn’t say a word to him; he just drew Keith into his arms. Keith felt electricity spark from Lance’s fingers, potent as it sizzled through his body. Keith froze, the sheets falling from his grip to pool onto the ground in a deep red puddle.

“Are you ready for me, _carino,_ ”

Oh god, that _voice!_

“I…” _Oh quiznak,_ Keith wanted to ask what he meant, why Lance was suddenly touching him, what the quiznak was happening? But with an arm tucked tightly around him – that totally distracted him— Lance led them back to the bed. As he lifted Keith to place him on the soft bed, all of Keith’s nerve endings sizzled in pleasure and anticipation. He fell back onto the bed in surprise.

Lance crawled over his fallen form, his heavy weight pressing down on Keith deliciously. Lance’s heated touch left his body tingling. Oh, his fingers left a trail of fire as they coasted over Keith’s skin.

_A memory…_

“You…?” This had to be a memory, or a lust filled dream he was cooking up because of whatever was happening to him. All he knew was that he never wanted Lance to stop touching him. His fingers were like a blaze of fire, and Keith wanted to burn. “Are you going to tell me you don’t want me to?”

The problem was he did want Lance to, though he may not know _who_ Lance was, it was like his body instinctively knew the man above him. He wanted this so badly, _this_ and so much more.

Lance’s grabbed Keith around the waist and pulled him up into that hot body. Keith melted into his touch. For a hot, searing moment, Lance held Keith against the rigidness of his body, setting off a trembling heat that made Keith arch more into him.

Maybe just one kiss…?

He’d almost closed his eyes and puckered up when Lance dropped him back onto the bed. Keith resisted the urge to groan. Why was Lance teasing him so? _Just kiss me and get to the good stuff!_ But, dammit, Keith’s libido kept going into overdrive every time Lance was near and a part of him wondered what harm a kiss—or two—would do. And therein lay the danger.

Could Keith stop at just one kiss? The answer didn’t please him. Or his body.

Lance dropped down, bracing himself on his elbows, and ground their hips together, cloth covered cocks rubbing deliciously.

_Fuck…_

Keith wanted more. More, more, _more!_

“I know we just got together and we said we’d go slow,” Lance said as one of his fingers came up to trace Keith’s full bottom lip, “I… _god_ , you’re so hot, I can’t resist you,”

Lance’s touch set him on fire. Hunger of the carnal kind raced through Keith’s body and imbued him with some of his urgency. _Please. Yes. More._

“Lance…” he murmured as his hands roamed over Lance’s back, pulling him closer until he lay on top of Keith.

“Shh. We both need this,” Lance replied, settling himself firmly between Keith’s legs and grinding against him again. Keith gasped and arched beneath him, his nails digging into Lance’s back.

“Keith…”

Looking up into those eyes, wanting desperately to reach out and kiss him, please just a kiss. He just wanted a kiss. But something was stopping him. Lance was…he was disappearing in his arms. The memory was going away, and Keith was waking up.

_“Is he in there?”_

Shiro? Was that Shiro?

The familiar and sudden sound of his brother speaking through the door woke Keith up from his dream. He clenched his closed eyes in annoyance. His eyes blinked open and Keith found himself in his bed, _without_ Lance.

He sighed, throwing his sheets from his body, groaning at the erection he was sporting. _Fuck_ , once again he was left high and dry. He wrinkled his nose at his own stupidity as reached for his clothes and shrugged them on.

“Damn it,” Keith muttered as he made his way into his bathroom – where Lance had come out of in his dream, he might as well greet them now, instead of waiting for the inevitable. Tear off the band aid in one fell swoop as it were.

He opened the door to see his brother and his… _husband_ standing on the other side. Lance was stopping Shiro from opening the door. They looked at him wearily, Lance holding a hesitant smile on his face.

“Morning sleepyhead,” he said with a smile that warmed Keith from the inside, and made his breath come out. He wished he had remembered kissing Lance, because that was all he could think about now.

His attention went to the other man standing before him.

_Takashi Shirogane._

He looked different.

Obviously so.

Keith took the moment to get a good look at his brother. Gone was the happy, cheerful, innocent and young Shiro. Here was Shiro, with a scar over the bridge of his nose, thin lips, a slightly tanner face, and a shining ring on his finger.

Shiro was married.

Most likely to that woman Keith saw in the pictures.

“Hey,” Shiro said quietly, as if Keith were a small creature that was scared of the world. Honestly, at this moment, Keith kind of was. He was remembering things all in a mess of emotions, and he really wished he could do this all quickly.

His current future sounded all too amazing.

Shiro reached for him, holding a hand to his shoulder. Keith spied the wedding ring glistening in the overhead lights. “How are you feeling?”

“You’re married,” Keith said straight to the point.

Shiro looked down to his finger and nodded. “You really like her,”

“I do?”

Shiro nodded. “Yup, you were against her at first,” – he chuckled at the memory, the sound bringing back all sorts of memories of a happy and smiling Shiro with a pretty, tanned skinned and white haired woman, – “You didn’t want to lose your brother, but you gave us your blessing,”

“When?” Keith asked, following as Lance took them to the living room and sat him on the sofa, between them. Keith was thankful, because he wanted Shiro close, wanted to remember his past, but at the same time, this new future with Lance, he wanted to keep that close too.

“We’ve been married about three years,” Shiro said quietly, running his thumb over the back of his ring, looking down at the simple gold band fondly. "Three  _wonderful_ years,"

Keith looked down to his own ring and sighed. He wished he could feel the same was Shiro was feeling now, the memories that must be rushing through his head, of their first dates, first kiss, first everything, how he proposed, the wedding, how she must have looked in her wedding dress.

His gaze darted to Lance and he cursed his stupid memory.

_Please memory…hurry up._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Keith-y...  
> Hopefully a day with Shiro around will help spark a few more memories.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be wary of second hand embarrassment.

_How far back can you remember?_

Shiro's question should have been easy to answer, but as Keith sat there, looking directly into his older brothers' eyes, he felt a shiver run through him, and a tinge of red paint his cheeks. Because everything he could almost remember was  _not_ something he wanted to tell anyone.

It was as if his mind was forcing these memories at the forefront, and he knew why. His most emotion filled and frustrating memories always came first, they were always the ones that made their appearance and wouldn't let go for a long while.

Looking up at Lance, who had taken a seat next to him, he felt his entire body turn red in embarrassment, because though his latest thoughts were not as racy as his dream had been – which was another thing he was not going to tell Shiro, no matter how much the man prodded him to – it was still embarrassing to think he had done something like that for Lance.

His thoughts were taken over by him standing in front of an apartment door, tugging at the lapels of his long coat, goose bumps appearing on his bare skin – he wasn't wearing anything under the coat, and that was what was so embarrassing.

He remembered spending quite a while in the lingerie shop, trying to find something that would look good on him. Thankfully it wasn't too expensive, and it really did feel comfortable, if not silky, more so than the other outfits he had seen in that shop – the leather and whips and chains had made him shudder, how did women do that?

He was doing this to make Lance think twice before calling him  _innocent._ That was why, underneath his long coat, he was wearing nothing but silken blood red underwear and matching suspenders and his boots. He had to hand it to those women, because though it wasn't a difficult choice for him to do this – there was no denying he had been attracted to Lance when they had first met all those years ago, and he still felt a hot buzz rush through him every time he saw the dark skinned man – he had had a long moment in front of the mirror, checking himself from every angle, making sure he looked good enough.

Good enough. Because he had been lost in Lance's smile the way those thin lips widened, creating dimples at the corners of his cheeks, the way his dark eyes sparkled. Though there was a frustratingly sexual tension between then – why wouldn't there be – Keith craved Lance, though in the most innocent of forms. He craved wanting to say goodnight to Lance every night, to press chaste and warm kisses on his lips, to tell Lance that he adored him, that he'd do anything for him, to protect him, to keep him safe. He didn't understand what this was, he wanted to be next to Lance all the time.

Ever since they had confessed to one another, after their first date at the amusement part, Keith had been craving him.

After much cajoling, they finally had the weekend alone. It was time to make this official. Sucking in a brave breath, Keith wrapped his knuckles on Lance's door, quickly checking his coat was smooth and straight. There was no turning back now.

"Keith?" Lance opened the door, and with a smile called out his name and let him in. "You're here early, if everything okay?"

Keith gave him a nervous smile. How was it possible for him to look so gorgeous in jeans and a shirt? His hair was damp, and slightly spiked, as if he had just come out of the shower. The slight humidity around the house proved him correct.

He cautiously stepped into Lance's home, his boots clacking from the tiles of the hallway to Lance's carpet floor. He gazed around the room, smiling at the coordinated mess Lance had created everywhere. There were papers and a laptop on his coffee table, and the telltale scent of something cooking in the kitchen. 

Everything was...rather neat.

Well, Keith would change that.

"I have a favour to ask you," Keith said slowly, hoping he sounded somewhat seductive. He pushed the door closed behind them, and made his way over to the windows, pulling the curtains close one by one. The room was engulfed in the dim lamp light at the corner of the room. Though he didn't want anyone to see what he had planned for Lance, he also really didn't want Lance to see just how embarrassed he was about all of this.

He wanted this,  _god yes,_ he wanted this. But it was one thing to fantasise about all of the things they could do, and another to actually do it.

"What kind of favour?" Lance asked slowly, watching as Keith moved around the room. His long coat swaying at his legs with every move. Lance could  _swear_ he saw a peek of red stocking, but maybe he was just imagining things.

Keith turned and saw Lance motioning to the sofa, patting on the plush for him to sit down. Keith's heart skipped a little beat, and his stomach did a weird tumble at the sight. Damn him.

He tried to act sly, and coy, and all sorts of seductive as he spoke, wanting to tell Lance exactly what he wanted to do with him for their first night together. He wanted them to be together, to feel things neither of them had ever felt before. He wanted to go out on dates, eat delicious foods from amazing restaurants, going to arcades and trying to compete with one another, drive really fast down long empty roads, and just be carefree. He wanted to tell Lance that the man was loved, he was cared for, he was safe. 

They had spent so long trying to build up the courage to actually, finally do this. But all that came out from Keith's mouth was; "I want you to come,"

"Come?" Lance's eyebrows quirked up in confusion, eyes darting down to the coat he was wearing, and to the door behind them. "Come where?"

Keith sucked in a brave breath and sauntered forward until he was standing directly in front of Lance. He hoped he looked graceful, as he reached for his coat, pulling open the buttons one by one. "You know what I mean,"

_"Keith?"_ Shiro's voice broke him from his memories. "What memory came to you?"

Keith's eyes widened and the blush only returned to his cheeks, darker and much more prominent than before. No way. No way, no how was he about to tell his  _brother_ about his trying to seduce Lance.

Uh, uh, fuck that.

"I'd rather not say," he replied instead, shaking his head, dropping it down in hopes to hide his blush.

"Ah," Shiro sucked in a painfully embarrassed breath. He stilled in shock, but his gaze darted quickly to Lance, who had a similar red face. "Was it about Lance?"

Keith curled in on himself, the embarrassment getting too much. But he nodded, because though it was  _that_ kind of a memory, he really didn't want Shiro to know. And he  _really_ didn't want to be here right now. 

"Well, that's good." Shiro said, patting his hands on his knees. "You're remembering the important parts of your relationship, that's a good start,"

Keith nodded, still not looking up. _Oh god,_ why wouldn't the earth just swallow him whole?

"Dr. Slav said we should take him through a normal day," Lance said, and Keith was thankful for the subject change, though it was slight. It was much better than Shiro prodding him with questions about his recent memories. Huh, important parts of his relationship -- apparently, sex was a big thing between them.

"I agree," Shiro replied. "But Keith can't go to work like this,"

Huh...Keith wondered  _where_ he worked, he was a planning director and events manager. Maybe he was still working under his boss Zarkon's control? He hoped not, that guy was a bad man, always forcing Keith to work hard, and long hours. There had been many times he thought to just quit, but who would take a man who had the memory of a fucking goldfish at times.

"Pidge would throw a fit," Lance nodded, and Keith's eyes widened as the name brought back a memory of a short woman with spiked out hair, large circular glasses, and a penchant to talk really fast and whiz through computers as if it were child's play.  _He remembered Pidge!_  "I'm surprised she hasn't shown up to see her boss,"

Wait... _boss?_ Was he Pidge's boss?

"Nah," Shiro shook his head, smiling that bright and beautiful smile he always had. "I told her not to come,"

_'I want you to come'_ Keith's blush rose at that. He curled in more on himself, listening to the two talk.  Oh god...at least he was slowly remembering, but at what cost?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...he's remembering.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little more confusion (and slight angst) to add to the mix.

Keith felt himself falling.

A dream...this had to be another dream....

He had stupidly fallen into a dream filled sleep on the soft sofas while Lance was cooking away at something smelling delicious in the kitchen. They had been waiting for Allura, who thankfully Keith remembered -- though not as much as he would have liked to, because he only remembered her as 'Shiro's girlfriend, the one who had a sweet voice, and white hair', and nothing else that even indicated that she was now his sister in law.

But he hoped that by seeing her in the flesh would jump start that memory. The more he spoke with Shiro, the more he was starting to remember things. Though there were only snippets here and there, but he remembered wild flowers in a bouquet, a beautiful white aisle in a church, him in a suit, standing at a church alter, though it wasn't his wedding. He was standing at the groomsmen aisle, his heart hammering in his chest, palms sweating and a smile so wide it was stinging his cheeks. He could see Lance standing on the other side looking absolutely stunning in his suit, most likely a 'bridesmaid' for the bride's side -- which went to show that this must have been the wedding of someone they both knew.

In his thoughts, he had fallen asleep -- which both Dr. Slav and Shiro had told him was a good way to bring back his memories. Both of them had been with Keith ever since this whole situation started, or that's what he remembered anyway, so he took their advice.

After all, his situation was trying to remember everything, and nothing was coming in sequence, his mind was like a pachinko machine, like a rollercoaster and he was forced to hold on for the long ride.

So, he had laid on the sofa, just wanting to rest his eyes and let the memories come to him -- because every time he went for them, they always turned away, making it harder for him to grasp at them.

He just prayed he remembered something else, something more profound, because he  _really_ wanted to see Lance happy. When he had told Lance about his sparse memory of the amusement park, which he remembered had been their first official date --  _whatever that meant_ \-- Lance had been so happy, his smile had been so wide, and his eyes had been shining,  _swimming_ with tears.

He wanted to see that look on Lance's face again.

But this dream...this memory. It was nothing like he usually remembered. Something must have triggered it, but he really didn't know what or who. He wasn't where he usually remembered himself being. He wasn't in a home, or anywhere for that matter. He tried to remember happier times, hopefully with Lance, because those were the best ones. Life seemed so lovely, so surreal in his memories, he had done things he had never imagined he'd get a chance to do. Like surfing in a crystal sea, playing at the beach, laying on the cool sand, watching the stars, basking in the beauty of the man by his side. 

But no.

_No!_  He wasn't in that beautiful memory. He was somewhere else entirely. It was dark here, it smelled horrible, and he just wanted to get away, to leave.

Lance... _Lance!_

Shiro...where was Shiro?

_Where was he?_

Everything around him felt so familiar, as if he had been here before, as if he had always been here. The room was decrepit, wallpaper peeling off the walls, dusty and old furniture. He was huddled up in the corner, between a side table and a crummy looking sofa, arms wrapped around his knees, holding them close to his chest.

He was reliving his past, but this was not the past he ever liked to remember. There was no happiness here, only sadness, only darkness. He was alone here, in the dark, sitting, waiting, wanting and never receiving.

_Home..._ he wanted to go home.

He was drifting here, like a feather in a weathering storm. His body felt like it was hot, like it was burning from the inside, yet everything around him was so cold. He was shivering madly, breath coming out in gasps. 

_This was a memory!_  He had remembered this before, the screeching sound of alarms pounding in his ears, the sound of someone screaming.. _.for him?_ He wasn't sure. People were running, yelling names, saying something...but he couldn't move, he couldn't speak. He was frozen in his spot, hidden from the world. Someone had run straight passed him, but they didn't see him, they didn't notice him. Leaving him there, on the cold ground, injured, alone. 

Where was he?  _Where was he?_

The sirens were deafening, his body shivering at the cold, convulsing with the tears lodged in his throat. He wanted to go home. Just...let me go home! His hands ached, fists having slammed on the ground so many times in his strife that the carpet had indents and blood carved into it. He needed to get out of here,  _now!_

He tried to get up, needing to get out. But his arms hurt, his legs quivered,  _god his head ached_. He slammed hard onto the ground, unable to move.

…oh god, he was falling again… _please let me be dreaming…_

The carpet burned his skin, his eyes welling with tears, frustration and sadness, depression welling up in his chest. His throat was clogged, his breathing erratic,  _go, go, go!_  but he couldn't move. He couldn't do anything but just lay there.

...too cold...it was too cold.

No... hot _. Hot!_ It's too hot! Get out!  _Get out, now!_

Groggily, he opened his eyes and soon wished he had left them closed. Oh…no… _no…_

"I can't find him,"

_Lance…?_  The sound was garbled, like he was hearing Lance while underwater. There was a high pitched sound in his head too, from what, he didn't know. He just wanted Lance.

"Look in the bedrooms again," Lance's voice was broken, as if he had been crying...why had he been crying. What was Lance doing here? 

_...I'm in here..._ but his voice wouldn't allow him to speak. His body felt heavy, like someone had sat a large weight on his back. His breathing was faltering, his heart beat was maddening. _Please, Lance, please! I'm right here!_

"He's got to be here!"

_Lance!_

"Keith!"

Forcing himself from his state, he opened his eyes once again and was graced with the face of the handsome man he called his husband, just inches away from him. Lance… _his Lance!_

He was here! He was right _here!_

How?  _How_  was he here? Where was here?

Lance's arms wrapped around him, murmuring and whispering words he couldn't understand. But Keith knew he was safe now. Everything was going to be okay. He could have drowned in the darkness of Lance's eyes. 

He was saying something, but Keith couldn't hear, or understand what. Lance reached for him, cupping his face in those warm hands, rubbing his thumb along Keith's jaw. Keith unconsciously leaned into his hand. Every frozen nerve warming up and jumping in the wake of his touch, a touch that reached so deep inside him that he whimpered. 

_Lance._

 

His eyes opened and he saw Shiro watching him, those dark eyes looking at him questioningly, worry etched deep in them. Keith was back in the real world now, back on the sofa with the soft blankets wrapped around him.

He was here...where Lance was.

_He had to see Lance._

Feeling the pull deep in his chest, the need to be with Lance, to touch him, to hold onto him, to remind him that Lance was his. He threw the blanket from his body and turned his attention to the kitchen. Paying no heed to Shiro who was saying something about 'taking it easy', he made his way to the kitchen and saw Lance standing by the stove, stirring something delicious smelling in a pot. 

He turned, noticing Keith, and smiled. "You okay?"

Keith's eyes darkened, and as if coming to terms with himself, he moved forward, making his way for the startled man. He reached up to the slightly taller man, pressing himself into the heat that made Lance so perfect.

"Lance..." he murmured, wringing his hands over Lance's collar. He needed that feeling again, that memory of being with Lance, of the sweet heat that surrounded him when Lance had found him, when he had held him close.

Keith had felt so safe.

Lance was trapped against Keith's warm weight, he reached back to turn off the hob, and wrapped a hesitant arm around his husband's waist. He wasn't sure just what Keith had remembered, or whether or not Keith was back to his usual self. So, he didn't want to push anything -- nothing ever happened that quickly anyway. But Keith was pressed into him, so close that Lance couldn't move. There was an undeniable sensation that made a gasp tear from his throat. He focused on those eyes, the dark violet that he had fallen madly in love with.

"Keith," he tried to scramble back a little, not sure where this was going. "What are you doing?"

Keith blinked in surprise, unsure himself. He didn't know what he was doing, just that he wanted Lance. A smile spread across his lips, because he understood. Whatever this feeling was, this was what he felt for Lance. This deep, heating, warm and happy feeling that was bubbling in his stomach, heating his heart and making him smile.

_He loved Lance._

Slowly reaching up, he pressed his lips to Lance's shocked ones. The kiss was amazing, he tasted sweet, and he wanted to taste more. His tongue ran along Lance's bottom lip, savouring more of that sugary sweet taste. His heart welled up with heat of a different kind, one that made his hands run along Lance's collar, reaching for his buttons.

Lance exhaled his name into his mouth, but seemed to snap back to his senses then, because he pulled away from Keith, shuffling back until his back hit the counter.

"Babe, are you okay?" He asked, because Lance was still not sure how much Keith remembered.

Keith nodded. "I'm better than I'll ever be," he murmured, reaching out for Lance once again. He didn't know what was getting into him, just that he wanted Lance, he  _needed_ Lance. He trailed a wet path along Lance's jaw, his lips moist and hopefully alluring. "Thank you for saving me,"

"Oh,  _mi_ _amo_ _r_ ," Lance nodded, arching his neck back to allow Keith better access. "I'm sorry you had to remember that awful night."

His hands moved then, sliding sensually up Keith's chest, making the latter melt into his touch. The memory of the cold, the loneliness, the depression. His body constantly pining for his family, for Lance, his mind screaming. He wanted this, right here, right now.

Lance had saved him then, and he was saving him now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year~!
> 
> Warning!  
> Sexy times, mentions of voyeurism, and Christmas cuteness.

It was Christmas.

Well it had to be, what with the frostbite cold, the snow crunching beneath his boots as he made his way into the Christmas Tree Lot. There were twinkling lights that shimmered like stars, a chorus of carolers singing merrily in the distance.

The Tree Farm he and Lance had stopped at was a little way away from their home. In the distance there were snowcapped mountains that look majestic. It was all rather romantic. Keith found he was really enjoying spending the cold December day with his love. He slipped his gloved hands into Lance’s as they inspected the trees, hoping to find the perfect one for their first Christmas together.

There were several families looking for trees, a few kids running around, weaving to and fro the other customers.

Lance’s arm wrapped around Keith’s waist; holding him close to his side. He pointed at a tree a few feet away from them. “What about that one?”

Keith saw the medium sized pine tree, it looked good and it would probably fit in their living room just fine. But Keith knew there was probably a better one out there.

“It’s nice,” he replied, leaning into Lance. “But let’s look at others, just in case,”

He saw a smaller tree before them, there were a few branches that were bare, and it almost looked sickly in way. It looked…well it didn’t look great, but maybe they could do something with it? It was a good year to be charitable after all. “How about this one?”

“What? No way!” Lance laughed, taking a look at the tree.

“It’s cute,” Keith protested, he was just teasing – after all, they had come for a proper looking Christmas tree after all, they were going to get Shiro and the others to come and help decorate – but it was looking like a good idea.

The tree reminded Keith of himself, looking normal, yet not being normal at all.

“No way, babe,” Lance retorted, reaching out for Keith and holding him all the more closer. “I want this year to be perfect; it’s our first Christmas together,”

Keith nodded, Lance did have a point. Slowly they made their way through the lot, separating a little as Lance stopped to look at a tree, while Keith looked at another. He didn’t notice Lance bend down to grab a handful of snow, not until it hit him straight in the small of his back.

He whirled around to face the culprit, only to see Keith holding his hands to his face as he tried to hide his laughter.

“Did you just throw a snowball at me?” he asked accusingly.

Keith shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t remember,”

“Uh-huh, funny that,” Lance narrowed his gaze, swooping down to pick up a hand full of snow. He swung his arm back and threw it straight at Keith. The snowball his him with a splat on his leg, almost making it buckle. Damn, the boy could throw!

Not wanting to admit defeat to such a juicy competition, Keith formed another snowball and threw it at Lance, hitting him square in the chest. Lance growled, throwing his next attack straight into Keith’s ass as he bent down to make another snowball. They continued to throw snowballs at one another, moving to the back of the lot, far from the many customers, hiding behind trees and trying to one up one another as best as they could.

Slowly, the heat of the game started to increase, as did the look in Lance’s eyes. They darkened as he stalked towards Keith, and Keith felt his heart hammer wildly in his chest. Now _that_ was a look he could really get down with.

Lance grabbed him by the front of his jacket, pushing him up against the thick tree bark, and crushing their lips together. At the first touch, Keith felt electricity and a swarm of heat rise up through him. He opened his mouth, letting the taller man take. And take Lance did. There was so much heat, so much passion, so much _competition_ in that kiss, that Keith wasn’t able to do more than let Lance win.

_Boy,_ did he want Lance to win. Especially if _this_ was what he was doing to win!

Lance pressed his body to Keith’s, pinning him up against the tree. They hid within the branches and fronds, the thick and spiky leaves prodding and sliding against them both, tugging and tangling into Keith’s hair. Lance pressed him against the branches, which acted like a cushion o his back. His fingers made quick work of Keith’s belt, yanking it open, and pushing the jeans down his hips. Keith gasped as the cold air hit his naked flesh.

“What are you doing?” Keith mumbled breathlessly into Lance’s mouth, not really wanting him to stop, but knowing they couldn’t do this here. “Someone might catch us!”

“Nobody is around, babe, and you’ve been looking gorgeous all day,” Lance murmured, pressing his mouth to the curve of Keith’s neck, sucking hotly against his flesh. His hand pressed Keith’s hip to the bark, the other reaching for his growing cock, gripping it tight at the base.

“Not fair,” Keith choked out a whine, struggling to get a hand free. He reached for Lance as soon as he was able to, plunging into Lance’s jeans and reaching to free his cock from its confines. Lance lifted Keith up then, pressing his shoulders to the bark and slotting himself into position between those long legs of his, nestling his cock into the crease of Keith’s ass.

There was something wild about this, something naughty, yet freeing, as they thrust against one another, climbing quickly to their high. The rough, raw slide of their bodies, sweat and pre-come the only solace against the achingly sweet friction, it was heavenly. The idea of someone accidentally coming across them was turning from frightening, to thrilling, and Keith didn’t want them to stop. He wrapped his legs tighter around Lance’s waist, groaning at the stretch of his jeans, unable to get the actual friction he wanted. But he was trying.

Lance forced him up against the tree, pulling Keith’s jeans down all the more and thrusting up until his cock was slicking and sliding perfectly where Keith needed him. Keith gasped, grunting and groaning, biting back moans as Lance thrust against his lover, grinding down, grip tightening against Keith’s ass as they both reached their climax. It didn’t take them long to cum, breathing harshly against one another as they did. Keith slumped down, legs shaking a little as Lance pulled away and straightened his clothing for him.

When they were both presentable enough, a sales person turned the corner and spotted them.

“Have you found a tree?” he asked.

Lance leaned up against the tree they had both been rutting against and smirked. “We’ll take this one,”

Keith’s cheeks burst a faint pink, but the sales person didn’t seem to notice, or care. He gave them the usual spiel of it being ‘an excellent choice’ and called two people over. They had chainsaws and hacksaws in their hands and slowly cut the tree down. Lance paid while Keith watch them work. The two men carried the thick pine tree to Lance’s truck, throwing it over the roof and tying to down securely to the car.

Once they were done, together Keith and Lance they climbed into the car and made their way back to their small home in the city. Their first home, together. He stood at the door, slotting the key into the hole, and pushing the door open. He watched as Lance untied the tree and helped him hoist the tree off the car and into the living room.

“Let’s get dinner ready,” Keith said, shrugging off his coat and boots, watching Lance do the same, and heading towards the kitchen. “Then we’ll decorate the tree?”

“Sounds great, _mi amor,_ ” Lance replied, following Keith into the kitchen.

Keith had spent that afternoon trying to perfect his adopted mothers beef stew, and it seemed like it was ready. Turning the crockpot off, he ladled the stew into two bowls, handing Lance bread to butter, and got wine out of the fridge.

They settled down on the table and slowly ate dinner in a companionable chatter. It was so homey, so lovely, and so wonderful, that Keith just knew this was a beautiful memory.

A memory…that was what this was. One that he was slowly trying to remember. Because it was beautiful, it was domestic, and it was everything Keith had always wanted. It was love, a family, and for that moment, Keith felt _normal._

There was the distinct sound of Christmas music playing in the music player in the corner of the room as they ate, just talking about the day and enjoying themselves just being _together_. Once they had eaten, they washed their dishes and set out to decorate the tree.

The music reached its Christmas crescendo as they two strung Christmas lights, baubles and tinsel onto the tree. Slowly, it started to build and build until it looked beautiful, lit up and shining brightly.

Keith turned to look at Lance then, seeing the twinkling lights shine in his eyes, giving his skin a deep red cheeked glow. He looked amazing, so at home. His gorgeous eyes turned to Keith’s then, holding onto his gaze, making Keith tremble.

“Angel?” He said.

“Huh?” Keith paused, _was that a new nickname?_ Lance had never called him ‘angel’ before, though there had been moments where he had been called all sorts of weird and wonderful things by the man.

Angel was…new…

“For the tree,” Lance said, cocking his head up to the top of the tree, it was bare.

_Oh…_ he meant…oh. Right. Keith reached into the box by the tree, where the rest of the decorations had been put, and handed Lance the wrapped up metal wired angel. Lance’s family had had this angel as a family heirloom of sorts, but when they had heard Lance was spending Christmas with Keith – which was only because Lance couldn’t get the week off from work to go visit them, and they couldn’t afford a ticket all the way to his family home – they had shipped a bit of home to him. The angel was one of the many things in the hamper.

The other was a letter from Mrs. McClain to Keith saying she was happy to have them come over for the New Years – not that Lance knew, not yet. That was Keith’s Christmas present to him, two plane tickets for a whole week to Lance’s family home. He had spoken to Lance’s manager and had successfully gotten the week after Christmas off for the man.

So he had to lie a little…it wasn’t like he was going to remember it enough to feel guilty about the lie…well not unless he…remembered it.

Moments later, they were both sitting on the comfy sofa, mugs of steaming hot chocolate in their hands, staring up at their creation.

“Merry Christmas, _mi amor,”_ Lance murmured, pressing a kiss to Keith’s hair.

Keith leaned into him, laying his head on Lance’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. “Merry Christmas, _nae salang,”_

 

Keith sucked in a breath as he returned back to the present; he saw the harsh lights of the bathroom flash into his eyes. With a groan, he got up from his sleeping position on the ground and let out a loud sigh. The bathroom door was open and there was a blanket over his body and a pillow under his head, which meant someone had come into the bathroom, saw him sleeping and instead of lifting him up to the bed – which would have been a very bad thing when he was trying to get his memories back – they had instead sought to make him comfortable where he was.

The sound of footsteps leading to the bathroom broke him from his thoughts. Shiro’s large and hulking form appeared at the doorway.

“You’re up,” he said, and Keith understood why he was still where he was, on the bathroom tile, in a fetal position.

“I thought you’d gone home,” Keith said, his voice hoarse with sleep.

Shiro helped him up and led him to the bedroom, wishing for him to sleep some more. “Lance was called out, but he didn’t want to leave you alone, so I stayed,”

“Where did he go?” Keith asked, it was weird that he knew Lance, but he still didn’t really _know_ Lance. What he did, where he came from, who he was.

This was all so complicated.

“He’s a doctor, _a neurologist,_ ” Shiro said, almost proudly at the confession. “He was called into the hospital for a patient,”

He was a…neurologist. _Oh…_

Keith felt a pit of raw heat in his stomach, and he didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing. It brought up all kinds of questions in his mind. The prominent one being ‘ _is Lance only with me because of my neurological disorder?’_

Oh god…all those dreams, all those memories…they all looked happy...but  _why else_ would Lance stay with him? He wasn’t in love with Keith, he just sought Keith to be a…a patient…

Keith turned to the toilet and threw up bile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...dun dun duuuuuuunn!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...angst?

Keith needed to leave.  

Washing and drying his pale face with the towel, he threw it in the adjacent hamper, not bothering to listen to Shiro who had appeared once again at the bathroom door, telling him to rest. He hadn't known what Keith had remembered in his dreams, and honestly the dream itself was...well, it was all kinds of amazing, and hot, and perfect. But the niggling worry, the ache of Lance only being with him because of what his head was like, and not because they loved one another...it was heartbreaking.

He had fallen so easily in love with Lance again, but if what he thought was true...Keith didn't want to think about it. 

"Keith, you okay?" Shiro breathed out so silently, but his words were like a dagger to Keith's heart. Because Keith really didn't know what he was any more.

All he knew was that he needed to leave. 

If Lance really _did_ only like and want him because of his 'unexplainable neurological disorder' - which was the same shit every other doctor he had seen had told him - then Keith didn't want to feel the heartbreak he knew was coming. 

Sure, he'd forget about it...but... 

Much like his memory of losing his mother, or of that night in the...in the...wherever it was when Lance had found and saved him. He had moments,  _many_  moments, where his heart just...broke, shattered, ached, whatever, and he knew there was a reason for it, though he'd never be able to pinpoint it. 

But it hurt, every single time. It felt like someone speared him through his heart and set off alarms in his head. In many cases, he had been forced to the hospital, or was so out of it, he'd stay in bed for days on end, trying to stop the ache, to stop the pain. But you couldn't stop any pain if you didn't know where it came from. 

Well, he couldn't anyway. 

He didn't want to burden Lance anymore, because he was in no way going to continue loving a man so deeply, especially one who thought he was nothing but a patient. He was going to...he...he was going to leave. 

Yes. 

Pushing Shiro out of the way, he made his way back to the bedroom, hell bent on packing his things and leaving before Lance came in and found out what he was doing. 

"Keith, what are you doing?" Shiro asked, standing before him, watching him. 

Keith paused...he...packing. Right, he was packing to leave. 

But he didn't...he didn't know where anything was. Pulling open cupboards and drawers, he saw clothes, jeans, shoes, accessories, an abundance of face creams and other skin care...things...but he didn't know what belonged to him and what belonged to Lance. 

"Keith, please stop," Shiro tried again, having caught on to what Keith was trying to do. "Think about what you're doing," 

Ignoring the man, Keith closed the cupboard doors with anguish. He let out an aggravated growl and stalked to the kitchen area. He didn't need clothes, he could find someplace to work, somewhere far away, and then make some money and buy new clothes. He could learn to live off the land if he had to. He'd just...he'd just have to try and remember how. 

Pulling open one of the lower cupboards, he found a stack of carrier bags, picking at one, he then started filling it up with a few fruits from the bowl in the centre island worktop. He opened the fridge and started throwing bread and bottles of water into the bag. 

"Keith!" Shiro yelled his name, standing tall in front of the kitchen door. He took hold of Keith's arm, turning him around and stopping him completely. He dragged Keith into his arms, hugging him tightly to his chest. "Think of what you're doing, you don't have any memory of this life, of this world. A  _lot_ has changed in five years," 

Keith let out a breath, he hadn't...he didn't...he melted into his brothers embrace, letting the familiar sound of Shiro's strong heart soothe him a little.  

"I don't...I can't..." He forced back the tears that were forming in his eyes, choking against the air around him. His head was pounding with questions and questions, but he just...he didn't understand!  Tears escaped his eyes without his knowing, and he felt his body take over. He cried, and cried, and cried. So much, because of everything. He cried because he was scared, because he didn't know, because of the memories that were coming, because of the memories that  _weren't_ coming.

_Everything._  

Shiro stayed there, holding onto Keith as he cried, running soothing circles at his back, murmuring nonsensical words as he calmed his brother. Once Keith had cried himself out, he pulled away from Shiro, confessing what was in the forefront of his mind. He knew Shiro would understand him, understand why he was acting like this. "He thinks of me as a patient," 

Shiro narrowed his gaze. "Did he tell you that?" 

_What?_ Keith looked quizzically up at the man. How would he...he didn't remember what he had for breakfast that morning, how would he be able to remember if Lance had every told him that? 

"Did. He. Tell. You. That?" Shiro asked again, speaking slowly and enunciating every single word as he spoke.

And Keith understood. His most prominent and emotional memories came to him first. If Lance had  _ever_ said anything like that to him - taking on from the breakdown he just had -he'd have remembered something like that almost immediately. But every memory he had had of Lance had been...well it had been filled with love, with care, with sensuality. 

None of it had been bad. 

"Were those his words to you?" Shiro tried again, holding onto Keith's shoulders and looking straight into his eyes, wishing and willing any ill will memory to come forth – as if that was how it worked. "Has he ever told you he only cares about you as a patient?" 

Keith wracked his brain – not that he had to, he knew how he worked, he knew how his mind worked and how his memories returned. He'd have  _definitely_ remembered Lance telling him something like that. But... 

"N...no," He murmured quietly, looking away.  

Lance hadn't said that to him...had he? He wouldn't...Lance always looked at him as if he had hung the moon, as if the stars were in his eyes. There was so much love in him, that it was impossible for Keith to think of Lance as anything but a man bent on keeping a patient and lying to them with false love. 

That kind of emotion – the one he felt every time  _he_ saw Lance, and he saw Lance show him – ...it was hard to falsify. 

"Then how can you say that?" Shiro's voice was softer now, and Keith knew he wasn't telling him off, or forcing him to think different. He was worried, he was scared for Keith. This memory problem of his was something that would never go away, no matter how many doctors they had been through, no matter the medication. Shiro  _mus_ _t_ have seen how helpful Lance had been in Keith's life, otherwise he would have whisked Keith away at further notice. 

As if to prove his point, Shiro continued. "I've seen you two together, I know he loves you," 

But there was still a little lingering, nagging voice in the back of his head, one that he could recognise as just plain anxiety. The whole 'this is too good to be true' demon that sat in the back of his head all the time. 

"But...I..." 

Shiro let out a breath, shoulders sagging, because he understood – Shiro always understood – that this was Keith being a naturally anxious person, and that he was not about to break down again. However, he felt helpless, because it was only Keith who could help himself. 

"You just," he tried, taking a pause to word himself correctly. "You just need to rest and remember. Okay? Trust me," 

Keith nodded. He could trust his brother. 

They heard the house door open and Lance's voice travelled into the house. He shrugged off his jacket, and made his way into the living room. He paused when he saw Keith and Shiro in the kitchen. 

"Hey guys," he said slowly, unsure what this meant. Had Keith remembered something that made him want to be with Shiro? That had happened before, some memories were based around his and Shiro's relationship, and Keith usually reacted whenever he remembered them. To confirm them, most likely. 

Then he saw Keith, saw the tear tracks on his cheeks, and dropped all of his thoughts. He reached for Keith, running his fingers through his long mullet like hair. "Ay, _mi_ _querido_ _,_ have you been crying?" 

Keith looked back at him, and Shiro let him go. Keith ran his arms around Lance's waist, laying his head onto his chest and taking in a deep breath of his heat. 

"Did you remember something awful?" Lance asked, returning to running his fingers soothingly through Keith's hair. "Was it that awful night again?" 

_Huh_...that awful night... 

...when he was...tortured by those doctors... 

_...wait..._

The memories of that awful night ricochet into his mind, the heat  _and_  the cold, the screaming, the pain...his body felt heavy, his breath coming out in short gasping puffs. He slumped onto Keith, not sure what the hell was going on. 

He didn't want to remember. 

" _Mi amor_  are you alright?" Lance asked, suddenly worried. He pulled Keith from him, looking into his eyes and saw they were clouded over, glazed. " _Mi amor_... _Keith!_ _"_  


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (rubs two sticks together, creating a spark between them, the sparks start to look like stars) I will be better at updating. I will. (the sparks catch on her carpet and start a fire) -- eeehh...
> 
> Things are slowly starting to...make a little bit of sense (?)

_Oh god._

Lance gripped tight on to his husband's falling body, seeing Keith's eyes flutter close, body turning heavy as he slumped into Lance's arms. With worry seeping into him, he looked up at Shiro, seeing the older man looking just as confused and worried as him.

"Shiro!" He said, breaking the man out of his frozen state.

Shiro dropped down onto his knees, leaning in close to Keith, but not knowing if it was okay to touch him. There was always a bit of a problem with touching and moving Keith when he had moments where his memory came back. Relapses weren't pretty, and it was always best to just leave him to it. It was why he had tried to make Keith as comfortable as possible in the bathroom floor.

Looking up, he saw Lance stare at him, thankful he wasn't accusing him of anything – not that Lance would – but he was just as worried.

"I don't know," He confessed, feeling a black tar like ball of despair in the pit of his stomach for his baby brother. So, he explained what had happened as best as he could. Maybe Lance would understand how he went from being okay, to...well, collapsed in a dead faint in his husbands' arms. "He had another relapse, and started getting anxious,"

Lance took hold of Keith then, slowly lowering them both to the ground. He gripped Keith's waist, cradling him onto his lap, running soothing fingers through his hair. This was absolutely awful, he hated not being able to help when Keith became like this.

It was all up to Keith when he had one of these moments.

But...but what did he have to be anxious about? Maybe knowing what made him like that in the first place would help Lance understand why he was like this now.

"Did he say anything?" He asked.

Shiro was hesitant, Lance could tell. So, Lance let him have a moment to gather himself. Whatever Keith must have told him, maybe...maybe he was preparing Lance for the worst. He and Keith had had many conversations, many moments, all good and bad. Sure, they had arguments, which couple didn't? But. They always made up. They were so in love, and had been for decades almost now. Ever since Lance had seen him for the first time – thanks to Shiro – he hadn't given a second thought to Keith's condition. Having fallen too deep in love, surprisingly almost instantly. Getting to know more and more about Keith, even after those first few times where he didn't remember their previous meetings, god, even their dates sometimes, it had been challenging, but being with Keith, being around him, being loved by him. It made everything worth it.

But, had Keith latched onto a bad memory and thought it was the truth?

They settled Keith onto the bed, making sure not to jostle him too much. Lance didn't move far from his husband, returning instead to running his fingers through his soft hair.

"He thought you didn't love him," Shiro said abruptly, stopping Lance long enough to tangle his fingers into Keith's hair.

"What?" Lance asked, gazing down at his husbands sleeping features. He looked like he was having a bad dream, or recalling a bad memory, but it wasn't right to wake him up, it wouldn't help him. "Why would he think that?"

"I told him what you do, your job," Shiro explained, looking a little sheepish. "I calmed him down..."

Oh?  _Oh_...this has happened before, when they had first officially started dating. It had taken a while for Keith to understand that Lance loved him for him, and not because he saw Keith as a patient – because that was ridiculous, how could anyone look at that adorable face with that outdated mullet and think anything but 'cute'?

Keith had quickly gotten over that when his fleeting memories returned to him.  But now that he had gone so far back.

"Thank you for your help, Shiro," Lance said quickly and calmly, dismissing the torrent of self loathing that would surely come from Shiro. He loved his brother, and would do anything for him. Lance understood that, and he had seen it on many occasions.

But Lance needed Shiro to be more alert right now.

"We've got to get him to the hospital," He continued, not stopping from running his fingers through Keith's hair. He remembered Keith telling him that it was a soothing action, and it always helped. So, if Lance could do nothing else, he'd make sure his husband was relaxed. "Call Allura, tell her we're coming."

Shiro was quick to his phone, speaking to his wife, and then they were ready to leave. While Shiro did that, Lance settled down in front of Keith, seeing his eyes moving under his eyelids, darting this way and that. His nose wrinkled, and his lips quivered. His fingers were clenching and he was fidgeting, more so than usual.

He was scared.

"You're going to be okay," Lance murmured to him, hoping and wishing his voice was going through. "My baby, my love, you're going to be okay,"

Shiro returned, Lance really hadn't paid any attention to where he had gone after he put the phone down. But looking up, he saw Shiro had the backpack they had created for this moment. He was careful to lift Keith into his arms, making sure he was safe and still sleeping, as he made his way to the door.

Lance was quick to follow, holding the door open and letting the two through. They quickly made their way to Lance's car, settling Keith in the back seat. Lance sat with him, those fingers returning to soothing Keith as best as he could.

Shiro sat in the drivers' seat, and they were off into the dark streets. 

The hospital was teeming with people, doctors, patients, nurses and porters alike, rushing back and forth down the long corridors and hallways. One of the receptionists at the front desk looked up and greeted them.

"Back so soon, Lance?" She asked, having only seen him enter with a frantic look of a man on a mission. She saw his worry and her face fell to copy him. "Is everything okay?"

Lance shook his head. "I need Allura,  _now,"_

She peered back, expecting to see Keith McClain standing behind her, looking worse for wear. She knew all about Keith McClain, well enough to know that he had moments where he didn't remember and sometimes came in looking like an adorable lost puppy. She had always been friendly and sometimes even escorted Keith to his husband's office.

But her eyes widened when she saw Shiro holding Keith in his arms. And poor little Keith, he looked pale, unconscious as he was, he was shuddering and shivering. She reached for the phone, pressing the intercom for Doctor Allura Shirogane's office, and almost immediately Allura picked up.

"Bring them in please," She said, without need of knowing what was going on.

Nodding, she put the phone back down and motioned for the three to pass. Lance nodded, giving her a quick thank you, and made his way down the familiar corridors and all the way into Allura's office.

"Poor Keith." She murmured to herself as she watched them disappear down the corridors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Keithy...


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter one today.  
> Sorry, medication makes me sleepy, and icky all the time, but one must persevere if one wants to stay alive (yeah...I use the word 'one'...)

Allura stood from her desk as soon as Lance pushed the door open to her office. She saw her husband standing behind him, holding onto his brother.

"Get him to the bed," she said calmly, though her insides were churning with worry.

Shiro nodded and laid Keith down onto the bed at the corner of the office. Allura pulled open a few drawers and a few cupboards, getting everything, she needed for a quick check up, and made way to Keith's side. She needed to check his responses, to make sure he hadn't sunk too deep into his memories and dreams. 

She pulled his eyelids open and flashed a light in his eye, the pupils dilated, that was a good response. Slinging the stethoscope from around her neck, she placed the ends in her ears, and pressed the cool metal onto his chest, checking his heart beat. It was erratic, and not at all at rest, like it should have been when he was like this. She hummed, schooling her reactions. She did not need another 'Lance-worry-attack' in her office again, the last time this kind of thing had happened, Lance had gone crazy with worry.

Though back then, Keith hadn't been in so deep. 

Checking the rest of his body, his skin was clammy, his temperature was high, and his body was shivering a little. She shrugged off his shoes, letting Lance open his shirt enough for a steady flow of air into his lungs, and let Shiro pull the blankets over his body. She let out another hum as she saw a little improvement in his slightly harsh breathing. 

This had happened before, but back then Keith had at least been a little bit more responsive than he was right now. With the way he was right now, he was anything but. And it worried her. Though she knew something like this was bound to happen, she hadn't expected...she didn't want...Keith was her brother-in-law, he was  _family._ And seeing him like this, seeing  _Lance_ like this, it hurt her heart.

She would do anything to get him back to the happy and smiling Keith she always knew him to be.

"This isn't like the other times," Lance tried to form words, but his voice was shaking, his entire body was shaking too. He held onto Keith's hand, needing something to comfort him, to ground him, because he thought he might go insane. Keith had never just...fainted!

"What happened?" She asked, trying not to sound just as frantic as he was. She needed to be the sane one here, the stronger one.

Shiro told him what had happened, of him waking up from a bad memory, and almost leaving. But he didn't understand how Keith had went from being anxious to...well...to this.

"That shouldn't...how far back had he gone this time?" She asked, seeing Lance was a little out of it, she turned her attention to Shiro instead.

Shiro held his hands protectively in front of him, feeling so useless that he couldn't  _do_ anything to help his baby brother. He hated just standing there and waiting. 

"Five years," He stated, looking down to Keith, letting out a breath. His poor little brother, having being born with such a deficiency. And all they could do was wait it out. "Said the last thing he remembered was the snowstorm around Christmas,"

"When we were all stranded?" She asked.

He nodded, leaning in closer to Keith. "I don't know why he's like this, you've got to do something 'Lura,"

"I'll try my best," Allura replied, reaching up to calm her husband. He was always so worried about Keith, as was she, and she knew he wouldn't really be soothed enough until they had Keith back, awake and with his memories back. "But we need to find out  _what_ made him like this," 

"It was me," Lance's voice was soft when he spoke. "He was crying, and I thought he had remembered  _that night,"_

Allura flicked back her white hair back over her ear, and leaned in closer to Keith. That would explain his sudden fainting spell, it was almost like a post traumatic disorder. And his body just couldn't cope with the memories, overwhelmed by it all, so much so that his body just shut down. 

Her heart ached, seeing his eyebrows furrow at whatever he was dreaming, or remembering. He was working through his dreams, his memories of that awful night. That made some more sense. She hadn't been there when they had found Keith, alone, starving and with so many bruises and contusions on his pale skin, so much had been wrong with him when they had brought him into the hospital, laying him on the bed as he screamed, screamed and screamed for Lance, for his love. Screaming that he didn't know where he was, what he was doing, or why everything hurt.

Allura had been thankful his disorder allowed him to forget what had happened to him when she had seen him. But she had been there, when Keith had slowly started to remember his days with those awful doctors. She had been the one who had helped him through the ordeal, kept him close and watched over him when he had his flash backs and moments.

Though this...he was so unresponsive.

"It's alright," she said, calming the others in the room. "He will be alright,"

She made her way to her desk then, slotting her flash light into her breast pocket, and reached for her phone. Dialing a few numbers, she held the phone to her ear and waited for the person on the other end to pick up.

"What a pleasure, Allura, how can I help you?" A cheerful voice replied.

Allura took another long look at Keith, seeing Lance having taken her place at his side, and holding onto his hand, running a soothing thumb over the back of it. Shiro looked lost, though he stood there, a strong support.This was all up to Keith, but they could at least try to help him be comfortable.

"Coran, it's happened." She answered shortly, knowing he knew exactly what she meant.

Coran's voice was a little less chipper now, more serious. "That Kogane boy has returned to the land of the lost, eh?"

"It would seem so," She replied, gazing up again at the three in her room. Keith looked a little paler as the minutes ticked by, and there was visible sweat beading on his skin. This was not good, not at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be from Keith's POV, so...yeah.  
> It might not be a pretty sight.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick one...  
> This is from Keith's POV, while he's having a memory episode, so its all a mess of confusion.  
> Hopefully it makes sense...
> 
> Warning.  
> Mentions of electrocution and torture!

_Where…am I?_

Keith tried to make sense of his surroundings. He didn’t remember anything, but not because he had lost his memories – no, _that_ was a completely different, disassociating feeling.

This was…he didn’t remember because he was just so _tired…_

His eyelids felt heavy, so much so that they didn’t want to lift open. His body was throbbing with pain in a way that it had never ached before. He felt like his body was melting, but at the same time it was freezing.

What was happening?

He instead focused on his other senses. His body was aching everywhere, but mostly it was his arms and his legs. His chest hurt when he tried to breathe, and he could barely feel the tips of his fingers or toes, let alone move them. He was lying down on something, which was firm, but soft. A bed maybe? His ears picked up the sound of whirring machinery and a steady beeping…no there was more than one beeping, but it was steady and rhythmic. The air smelled of medicine and metal, of cleaning fluids and lemons.

Hospital. He was in a…hospital? Why? When had he gotten here? Where was Lance? Where was Shiro? He couldn’t remember how he had got here.

His lips were too dry, and his throat was scraped raw…he had been…he had been screaming. That was it, he had been screaming so hard, and for so long that he had corrupted his vocal chords and lost his voice.

Heat…something about…pinpricks of heat. Oh god, he remembered. They had electrocuted him. They had strapped him to a chair, forced a wooden bit into his mouth, forcing him to either bite down on it, or gag. The air had smelled like burning flesh, _his flesh._ And the sounds of the doctors, a man and a woman, soothing him, telling him he was doing _so well, Keith, you’re going to get better._

Even now, he could still feel the lightning strikes shiver through his body, jumping and shocking him, electrocuting him from the inside out. The wet heat of it sunk into his skin, drying his tongue, making his eyes strain, his body convulse, and his tears dry before they even fell.

His screams had all been spent on the wooden bit, teeth marks sinking into it. The taste of electricity, and wood would be something he would never forget.

Forcing his hands to move he found he couldn’t move them too far, but he felt the metal railings at his sides. He was on a hospital bed. Strapped by thick belts, he had a belt strapped over his forehead, pressing his head to the bed too. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t…

He didn’t know…he…

…where was Lance?

Why was he here?

He wanted to go _home…_

…where…where was…where was home?

…Who…wh… _who am I?_

A screeching siren erupted through the room, followed by flashing red and white lights. Keith’s attention was taken to the metal door at the far end of the bunker, though he couldn’t lift his head up too high. He closed his eyes, letting the tears fall as the sound of the siren penetrated into his mind.

La…Lance…please…please…let me…go… _Lance!_

Desperate to try and block the cries of the sirens, he forced his head to one side, pressing his ear to the pillow. Fear and confusion gripped him tight, shaking him like a rag doll. He didn’t know what was happening. _What was happening?_

Under the screeching sirens, he could hear heavy footfalls. He tried to cry out, needing an outlet, wanting to let people know he was here. _I am here!_ Something rumbled on the ground underneath him, and he felt his bed moving. The wheels screeching under him, jostling him in his restraints.

Who…?

Looking up, he saw an older man, who had eccentric looking hair and electric yellow eyes…wait…no blue…huh? Was his skin purple…no, it was pale…it…what?

“—eith, stay with me,” he was speaking, his voice was rough and low.

Keith felt a jolt rumble the bed, and suddenly the screeching got louder and louder, he was…there were lights coming in intervals above him, he closed his eyes at them. Hallway…he was…this man was taking him somewhere.

“La…” he croaked, his throat dry, cracking and bleeding.

“Don’t speak, Kogane,” The man…doctor…he was wearing a white coat…wait, his name was on a tag on the coat…

Tha…

Keith’s eyes were too dry, but too blurry…how was that…possible?

A males’ voice sounded from behind them, and halted the bed. “What are you doing with the patient?”

Keith felt the bed moving again, this time faster and faster. The lights above him changed too, streaming until they were one large blur. The wheels under him screeched against the tiles as the bed turned this way and that.

“Lan—” Keith tried again, but it hurt too much to talk. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t open his eyes anymore either. He just lay there, like a zombie as this man… this… Tha… Tha…

They had stopped now, and the world moved around him now. He was going…lower? Was he moving…how…?

“Hush, Kogane,” The man said, and Keith opened his eyes. A lift? He was in a…he saw his reflection in the metal ceiling and he really wished he hadn’t. His skin pale white and sallow, his body bloody and torn, his eyes beyond bloodshot. He was strapped onto the bed, but the man was making quick work of the straps, peeling them off him one by one.

“Get up, little one,” The man said, hauling Keith up from the bed. But Keith couldn’t move, he couldn’t…

…he…where…?

“Focus Kogane!” The sound of the man’s voice was a harsh slap to the face. Keith’s eyes opened wide, and he forced himself to get up off the bed.

Lance, he needed Lance…he needed to get out of here. He needed to find Lance, he needed…he… _help me…help….he…lp…me…_

The man scooped him up out of the bed, turning him until Keith was laying on his back, piggy backing him. The man stood up tall, pushing the gurney to the side. The lifts’ doors dinged open into an empty hallway, but Keith could hear the tell tale sound of footsteps somewhere down the corridor.

“La…n…” Keith tried again.

He didn’t know why…but he…he needed…he… _Lance_ …

The man manhandled him so he was more secure on his back, Keith tightened his grip on his shoulders, grasping onto the back of his saviour. The man peered out of the lifts and saw the coast was clear for now. Making his way along a similar looking hallway, the man stopped at another room, sliding the door open, he made his way in and dropped Keith onto the bed.

“We’ll be safe here, for now,” The man said.

Keith looked up at him, forcing his tired body to move. _Move god damn it!_ But he was just so tired. He dropped onto the ground, his body convulsing, his blood pumping, he could hear a high pitched whine in his ears and his body suddenly felt boiling hot.

The man was at his side, white coat swishing behind him. He shook Keith, saying his name in a quiet tone, again and again. But Keith couldn’t hear anything.

The man moved again, reaching for his pocket and fished out a phone, he typed in a number and held it to his ear. He was saying something to someone, but Keith couldn’t hear, he couldn’t _see!_

_What was happening to him?_

Was he dying?

Is this how I go? Is…was this all I was good for…he couldn’t even remember…

“—is coming, Keith, you hear me?” The man said, forcing him to look up at him. Keith watched those lips move trying to make out what he was saying.

Lance…was…coming…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...who saved him?  
>  (okay, so we all know who, but...level with me a little here)
> 
> Next episode.  
> Keith wakes up.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short one today...

The sudden sound of continuous beeping awoke Lance suddenly from his fit filled sleep. He had been sitting on the chair next to Keith's bed, and must have fallen asleep while he was waiting. Alarmed, he lifted his head up from the edge of bed, and saw his husband curled to one side in a foetal position, hands grasping tightly in Lance's own, body hot and sweaty and his breathing heavy. 

Oh god, oh no... oh no. He was having an episode. And it didn't look very good, not like it usually did when he had one when they would be in bed. 

Worried, and frantic at the telemetry beeping in the silent air of the hospital. He tightened his grip on Keith' hand, soothing him the best way he knew how. Running his fingers all over Keith's arms, massaging his fingers, showing him that he was here, that he was loved. 

Keith looked like he was stilling, but he was still shuddering, trembling against the onslaught of whatever dream he was having. 

Lance cursed himself for being such an idiot. He shouldn't have said anything, he should have just been there, holding onto his husband, like he always did. But no, he had to open his stupid mouth. 

"Keith," his voice was broken when he spoke, reaching down to press a kiss to Keith's cheek, wishing and wanting him to wake up. "I'm so sorry  _mi_ _amor_ , please wake up," 

Keith groaned, his grip tightening, his eyes darted this way and that, as if he was responding to what Lance was saying. 

This was new, this was frightening too. What was happening to him? He'd always fall into a deep sleep when this kind of thing happened, nothing was able to wake him. Had he fallen into something worse than memories and dreams? 

His skin was hot, too hot, clammy and sheened with sweat. However, there were goosebumps on his skin too. It was an odd sight to see, and Lance didn't know what to do. He could see the veins in Keith's arms, as he tightened his grip on Lance's hand. He curled up on the bed all the more, mouth open, yet no sounds coming out. 

"Mi amor? Keith?" Lance tried, hoping Keith would react to him the same way as he had before. But Keith's grip only tightened. Lance reached for the controller on the side of the bed, pressing the nurse call button. 

Mere moments later, Allura burst through the room, her usually neat hair in disarray as she saw them. 

"Allura!" Lance cried, turning to the woman, "He's in pain, please, Allura, what's going on?" 

Allura got straight to work, checking his vitals on the screens, getting her pocket torch and checking his pupils, his blood pressure and pulse. Once she was done, she let out a breath. "He's reacting quite badly to his memories," 

"What do we do?" Lance asked, frantically. "He...he was listening to me...I... please 'Lura, I don't want to lose him," 

Allura looked around her, unsure of what to do. She needed to calm Lance down, but at the same time, she knew she was helpless to really do anything for Keith. He had to do this himself. 

But that didn't mean any outside stimulus couldn't help him. 

"Lance, he's always come out of his slumps when he's with you," Allura said as a matter of fact-ly. Lance nodded, his grip tightening on Keith's hand. "You're going to have to speak to him, maybe he'll be able to hear you," 

Lance nodded and got straight to work. He tightened his grip on Keith's hand, pulling it closer and holding his arm to his chest, he rubbed his cheek against the back of Keith's hand, smiling through the tears running down his cheeks. 

"Keith?" He tried, leaning in closer. Climbing up onto the bed, he hovered over his husband, seeing those eyes dart back and forth under his closed eyelids. "I'm right here, mi amor, I'm right here, and I love you so much," 

Keith seemed to still a little, just a little, but he was still trembling. His mouth opened, silently making words as if he was trying to reply to Lance. 

"Please wake up, my love," Lance murmured, right into Keith's ear, the tears running down his face as he forced himself not to cry. "Please, my love, my life, please,  _please_ wake up," 

He tried hard to not sob, though his body was shaking with unshed tears. His voice broke as he continued. 

"I can't help you when you're there," he tried, remembering the many times he had woken up to Keith deep in his memory filled dreams. "I need you here," 

Keith shuddered under him, fingers moving, tightening into fists, before they opened up again. He pressed his knuckles to Lance's cheeks, his eyebrows knitting together when he felt the wet tears on his skin. 

"La-"  

Lance's eyes widened, hearing the sound of Keith trying to say his name. He looked up to Allura, seeing if she had noticed it to. She gave him a thumbs up, encouraging him to continue. 

"That's it, my love,  _my life,"_ He said brightly, hovering his face as close to Keith's as he could. He pressed little kisses on Keith's cheeks, hoping they were aiding him to reality, and not into his awful dreams. "Please, come back to me, my love,"  

Keith's mouth moved again, a wheezing whine escaping that sounded like Lance's name. Lance's smile brightened, and his grip tightened as he urged Keith to continue. 

"Please, mi amor, come back to me, I need you here," He cried softly, pressing kisses and kisses and more kisses on those lips that were moving oh so slowly, but they were moving, Keith was coming back. "Yes, that's it!" 

His fingers grasped at Lance's hand, twining with his own, and he opened his eyes. They were blurred and bloodshot, but he was here, he was awake. 

"Lance?" His voice was croaky, a little harsh, like rough sandpaper. But he was awake. He was here! 

"Oh, my Keith!" Lance cried, taking Keith's prone body into a hard hug, tears falling from his cheeks as he cried into his husband's shoulder. "You're awake!" 

"Wha--" Keith started, looking around to where he was. He stilled a little, frozen under Lance's body. "What happened?" 

"Oh, my love," Lance started, lifting away from Keith, but his grip on Keith's arm didn't falter. "You fainted, and I was so worried, you're at the hospital, Allura's taking care of you," 

Keith nodded, looking at Allura, but his eyebrows knit together in confusion, and clarity. 

"What's the matter?" Lance asked, settling back onto his seat. 

Keith looked around at them, seeing Shiro at the doorway, looking at him with concern, Lance looked worried, as did Allura. 

"I...I remember," 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun duuuuunn!


	12. Chapter 12

Lance sucked in a deep breath, his grip tightening on his husbands hands, wanting desperately for this to all be true. He couldn’t believe Keith had gotten this far. But he was so glad his husband was awake, that he was well. That he was here.

He _missed_ Keith. So much over the past few weeks. He had missed their little talks, their touches, their kisses, their nights together. Even though Keith was right there, right in front of him, it wasn’t the same. Because, even though Lance loved him with his every being, whenever he got like this, whenever he _forgo,_ Lance felt useless. And he hated that feeling, hated knowing that Keith was forced to go through all of this alone.

So he was a bit vehement now.

“You…remember?” he asked, his voice low, as if he didn’t want to break the spell they had created. The air was filled with tension, and he wished they could stay in the small bubble they had created.

“Yeah… _yeah,_ Lance, I remember,” His eyes were bright, beautiful lilac, and it made Lance’s heart swell with so much love for his husband. “I remember you, and Shiro, and Allura,” Keith looked at them as he said their names, smiling softly. But then he looked down on his lap, worry quivering his lips. “And that night…”

Lance moved then, reaching up and wrapping his arms around Keith, holding him close, holding him as tight as he could. Just like he had done the night he had found Keith on the ground, screaming his name.

“You saved me,” Keith breathed, pressing his face into the familiar firm muscles of Lance’s chest, taking in his scent. “You found me, and you saved me,”

“The nurse, Thace, he helped,” Lance replied, his voice shaking, and his shoulders quaking as he held back his tears. “If it weren’t for him getting you to a safer place...”

Thace… _yeah,_ Keith remembered Thace. He had been the only one in the clinic who actually cared for him outside of him being just an experiment. Just someone who was there to be jolted at with electricity, dunked in freezing cold water, or burned with heat.

Thace cared, though Keith knew there was nothing he could do. But to think, he had been working _with_ Lance, and Shiro, to get him out of there. It was amazing, and for that he was glad.

“You shouldn’t have gone,” Lance cried, thudding his fists at Keith’s chest, though it was weak and painless, it made Keith’s heart ache. “You shouldn’t have listened to that old quack,”

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, letting Lance get all his aggression and aggravation out on him. He knew it wasn’t any of their faults. He had met with the woman, Hagger, and she had told him all about the new experimentations they were working on to help him get better.

He had been worried back then, that Lance was getting tired of him, that Lance was slowly starting to hate him. So he had signed his name and agreed to it. He hadn’t expected to be taken, or experimented on. He hadn’t expected…

“I don’t want to remember that night anymore,” Keith confessed, eyes closing as he tried to forget all his memories of that awful time. He really was glad he had this disorder. “I just want to remember you,”

“I think we’ll leave you two alone,” Shiro said, clearing his throat, bringing their attention to the other two in the room.

“Yes, I agree,” Allura nodded, she took hold of Shiro’s arms and led him to the door. She paused, peering back in. “Once you’re ready, Keith, I’ll discharge you,”

Keith nodded, watching as she closed the door to her office, hearing the lock click into place. He wrapped his arms tighter around his husband, clearly finding it odd that Allura was letting them use her office for something like this.

“I’ll show you discharge,” Lance muttered, teasing his husband.

Keith blushed brightly, his heart thumping madly in his chest as he opened his mouth to speak, but he didn’t know what to say. He _remembered_ his beautiful, loving, wonderful husband.

Unable to stop himself, because he just _had_ to touch Lance, he _had_ to remind himself just what his husband _was_ to him. He stroked the flat of his palm down Lance’s side, loving the little shiver that ran through the beautiful man when he got to his hip. Lance was ticklish, and it made him smile.

“I love you,” He stated ultimately.

He pressed Lance closer to his body, caging him in and kissed him with everything that was in him. Lance parted his lips in surprise and Keith delved his tongue inside, thrusting deep. His hands gripped Lance’s hips, pulling him tight against his body as he continued his exploration of the recesses of his husbands’ mouth.

Lance held on tight, his head spinning and his world tilting on its axis. Damn, he had missed this so much, Keith felt so good. It had only been a little more than a week, but somehow it felt like an eternity. Everything inside him ached for Keith. Maybe always had.

When they broke the kiss, Lance could barely remember his name. After clearing his throat and taking a few deep breaths, he was finally able to speak again.

“You—” He sucked in a breath. “We can’t do this here—”

Keith interrupted him, knowing what he was about to say. This was, after all, Allura’s office, and that was all kinds of wrong. “Take me home, _nae salang,_ ”

Lance shivered at the familiar nickname. He felt hot all over, his knees nearly buckled and heat pooled between his legs. Oh...god. It had been too long since he had last had his lover, since he had last teased his husband. He wanted Keith, so bad.

He gazed at the sun kissed, delectable, mouth-watering completely lick-able lips of the man under him, enduring vivid, memorable, and downright realistic dreams where he pleased Keith’s body, touched him, caressed him, pleasured him. Several times.

He gasped, wanting it now, more than ever. “ _Mi amor,_ I love you so much, _”_

They needed to get home. Now.

Keith tightened his grip on Lance, unable to stay too far away, not now that he remembered everything. Like the way Lance had almost messed up his vows on their wedding day, on how they had argued over what colour ties to wear for it, only to stop and start laughing because it was so stupid to fight over. The way Lance looked when Keith brought him to their home, telling him that it was theirs. How many times they had made love, and just been so happy, so healthy and so wonderfully in love.

“I’m so happy you came into my life,” Keith murmured.

Lance buried his face into the curve of Keith’s neck, pressing kisses on his skin. “Me too, mi amor, me too,”

Keith may have been oblivious to everything that happened around them, and he wouldn’t ever get over his disability. But he was so happy to know that Lance was there with him, that he had his brother and sister-in-law. That he had a _family_ who cared for him, and stayed by his side.

He wouldn’t give them up for the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all she wrote.  
> I know, it was a bit of a quick ending, and I might continue with a few more things here and there. But for now, I'm putting this to rest (I have loads of other stories that need to be finished too...)
> 
> So, big thank you to all of you who commented and kudosed, or just passed by.  
> Thank you to the first comment; Saky! Thank you for motivating me, and continuing to do so through my time writing!  
> Thank you to, birds+and+bees, Anielka, ruubix, milliegirl21, AUTygressLuvsVoltron81 and MaddieForTheFandoms11! Your comments really made my day!  
> And a big thanks to wertdifferenz -- come on, seriously, you rock. 
> 
> I couldn't have done it without any of you, so thank you~!  
> Here's to the next fic!

**Author's Note:**

> The plot...doesn't thicken, nope...it's just a bundle of 'wtf' right now.


End file.
